Tag Archives: dinosaurs

WORST BOOKS OF 2013

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We couldn’t find a lot of interesting books around, lately. No wonder the publishing industry is in deep ‘sheet’.  The majority of publishers seems to have developed a certain taste for crap wrapped in a glossy dustjacket. To make things worse, talented writers with something to say are disappearing, just like happened to big reptiles and alcohol-free beer. Good books, very good books, are rarer than astatine. The rest, and we are talking about 1 million titles every year, is just trees sacrificed for no reason. If, to all of the above, you add the fact there are more writers than readers, and that readers mostly read what they write, you get the whole picture. The Brandpowder Team, in a drastic attempt to instill a sense of pride in the publishing industry and to push good writers to abandon Harry Potterism and type some goddam’ good stories, would like to introduce you to the top worst books of 2013. We personally published these books at our own expenses,  as a no-profit experiment to provoke publishers, writers, readers and, why not? hopefully also analphabets, to do something about it.

Opening Picture: The Not So Yellow Pages are a guide to imprecise listing. You can browse them, let’s say, when you are not looking for something in particular and you just jerk around thinking life is about getting lost somewhere, nowhere. Fakebook (below) is a novel talking about demotivation, failure, depression, solitude, despair, staging an anxious, over-perspirating guy with smelly armpits. It sold just one copy, bought by the author.

fakebook

Below: This opus in two volumes, which comes in a lavishly hardcover leather-bound edition, is a meditation about nothing to say. The 240 empty pages are a masterpiece on silence and creative white out. A must non-read for whoever feels  blocked or simply overwhelmed by data overflow. Mostly unsold.

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This book (below) is highly recommended for the daring investor who’s always looking ahead for new opportunities. Unfortunately, also this one didn’t sell a single copy (out of the 50 we printed). We were shocked, since Mars is the next frontier. Not to mention KitKat and Bounty.

unreal estate

save money

The worst-best seller on our list is this rather imposing, meek-looking book with a challenging title aimed to the disobedient. We didn’t find a single customer willing to pay 20 bucks for its precious insight. The cause may be people are much better off than we think, or they are simply convinced they know better?

This project, as many others developed buy the Brandpowder Team, was a complete fiasco. Indirectly, it was a success. It proved our point. Thank you for your attention.

LESS TOP MODELS, MORE TOPLESS MODELS.

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We are living in tough times and money is tight like a lemon’s butt.  The Brandpowder Team received a call for help from one of the most celebrated Australian fashion designer, Don Pezzano (who happens also to be an early supporter of Brandpowder and a friend of us). Don asked us to find a reasonable alternative to top models’ ludicrous wages. “They simply ask too much,”  he told us. “And what they do, at the end of the day? Nothing, really. They drink Evian and chain-smoke in the studio, posing in front of a camera with the usual ‘I am unreachable for you’ kind of attitude and, when the photographer is done, they pretend to keep every dress they tried on and, as if this weren’t enough, they make a doggy-bag out of all the food they can put their hands on. These are not models, for God’s sake, these are fucking locusts!”

We calmed Ron down and suggested him to adopt our new technology: Sklwedfr© by Brandpowder. It’s a lousy name – we admit – but at least it’s not on Google. Sklwedfr© is a smart analogic software that creates composite fashion pictures starting from a bio database of 5,000 virtual dolls we created for this purpose. There are endless possibilities and the result is striking: no more models, no more crazy fees, no more ravaged buffets in the studio. Just brilliant, sexy girls who can do everything for nothing.  We are now launching a beta-version of the software and, for the occasion, we are introducing a few samples of Sklwedfr© pictures. Many fashion designers can’t wait to buy our super no-bullshit innovative technology. Sklwedfr© is not going to decree the end of top models and their ridicolous cachets but, after all, even dinosaurs laughed a lot when they bumped into the first mammals.

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